Men w/ Venus in Pisces

[Cappie]

I've been trying to have a relationship for a year now with this guy w/ venus in pisces. He's very sensitive and receptive to my feelings but has been impossible to pin down on his feelings and what he wants as far as a relationship. Is this a general charateristic of venus in pisces? Wondering what others' experiences have been w/ this? He also has moon-neptune conjunct in Sagittarius which I think I had read makes him even more piscean-like and dreamy?

Any insights would be great, as I am ready to declare him just plain commitmentphobic!! (Aside from this, he's got alot of Cap. in his chart- sun/merc./mars.)

[Chris Mitchell]

Hi, Cappie - welcome to Node-o-Rama!

Traditionally, Venus is exalted in Pisces - a benefic planet in a benefic-ruled sign (Jupiter rules Pisces in traditional astrology). Having said that, I don't actually know many Venus in Pisces people - even though I'm a Pisces Sun myself!

As for me, I tend to go very Neptunian when I'm in love, and always see the other guy through rose-coloured glasses and then get very disillusioned when it doesn't work out. I just want to merge completely, which of course usually frightens the other person off! The one time it didn't scare the other person off was when I had a relationship with another Pisces (Pisces Sun *and* Pisces Asc).

Who else do you know with Venus in Pisces? That may give a clue. Personally, I don't think it's easy to pin down one particular placement and identify characteristics from that, though it doesn't stop it being a useful exercise to try!

[darksun]

my experience with pisces in general, excluding my friends that also have strong aries and aquarius planets in their charts, but in term of dating, they follow, i lead. i guess if i had ever tried to directly ask what they wanted they might have proven somewhat elusive, but i've never had any problems as they seemed to just agree with what i stated I value. but then my descendent's in pisces, which may be why loving pisces seems so easy to me. plus cap sun scorpio moon, strong will. it's all relative.

oooo, i just realized his has a cap mars....my son has that combination....lofty ideals with the stamina to try to force it into reality. hmm..i'm going to send you a u2u cappie.

[molly]

Interesting Darksun-- both my dad and my sister have Venus in Pisces and they too are more followers than leaders in relationships. It can be both a blessing and a curse! So much depends on the partner as they seem to channel a lot of the other person's energy.

Molly

[pinky_shushu]

I'm a woman with Venus in Pisces, and I have always been a bit of romantic. In the past, when I haven't been interested in pursuing a relationship with someone i'd met, I'd just disappear from their life, or if I couldn't do that (ie. worked with them), I'd be polite but a little vague - unreachable. The image of someone holding a wet, slippery fish that pops out of the hand and back into the ocean comes to mind. But when I dig someone, I'm all in there, no committment phobia.

I put Venus down as what I enjoy and take pleasure from, and in Pisces, I enjoy romance, dreaminess, abstract and fantastical music, books and movies, and as my partner with Mars in Pisces puts it: 'spiritual creaminess'.

But as Chris pointed out, it's nigh on impossible to pin a behaviour down to one single planetary placement - taking into account other planets and their aspects is pretty important. I would potentialy view Saggy Neptune conjunct the Moon as being more prone to 'relationship driftiness' than Venus in Pisces. Well, possibly... but maybe these two placements together create an extra-floaty individual.

I knew someone with Moon/Neptune in Sag (but with Venus in Aquarius), and she wasn't committment-phob, but her boundaries with friends (this aspect was placed in the 11th) was an issue. Although my view may be biased because I was a friend, I eventually found her to be too emotionally draining and demanding as friend, and I know that others felt the same way. Actually, her intensity often scared fellas off... she definitely wanted 'to merge' (the Moon ruled her 7th). Oh, and she was a Pisces Sun...

Anyway, just my 2 cents

Pinky

[elsaelsa]

Why do you want to pin him down? Why not just love him the way he is? He's not going to change. You are never going to be able to nail down Venus in Pisces. That's just not going to happen.

[CapGirl]

I'm having a hard time just figuring out if he wants a relationship with me. He says he doesn't want just sex and he's been respectful of me, but yet he's not reliable in keeping up regular contact and planning ahead to see me. So, I never feel that I can trust him, as I need to know that he'll still be around and will be reliable after we're intimate.

I can relate to the "following the lead" description, as he seemed to assume I just perhaps wanted a "fun time" so he started going with that assumption and being overly sexually flirtatious, but then I when I revealed that I wanted something more, he has not disappeared and is still calling.

I would have thought that the Cap. Mars would propel him to take more decisive action if he truly wanted a romantic relationship with me? Although, he is aggressive and the initiator with physical contact- so is that what Mars is limited to?

He is also very subtle in communicating any feelings and seems to want me to 'read between the lines' and not have to state it clearly. Is this that dreamlike Piscean quality? He and I also have the moon-neptune conjunct in our synastry...

[Cairn]

sounds like deja vu to me...

This happened to me over the last year and I hung in that long ONLY because I thought we may be taking things physically slow because we worked together. He was the intiator and was very romantic and overly flirtatious and called me and we went out we were emotionally intimate but one day he brought a girl he was "seeing" to the staff party - he had been keeping it a secret from everyone at work including me. Bang Neptunes veil dropped! and I saw the fish behind the fish... And at the time I thought I cant really be angry with him because he never promised me anything...Even still I think he was sincere in the "moment" the whole thing smells a little slippery and fishy to me...And he was surprized that I wanted to change our relationship after...He was in Neptune's dreamland of what was acceptable boundaries.

There's exceptions to every rule but if it smells fishy it probley is. And i dont neccessarily mean that there is someone else involved but both fish arent being seen. My experience with piscean men that if they want to be in a relationship they will dive into it head first! (like most men) But they always need a place to play out the dream even if its not going to be fufilled!

goodluck

[Girseach]

Well - Venus in Pisces has been a characteristic that all of my serious relationships (with women) have shared... As an earth Venus/Mars - let me suggest this:

The Venus in Pisces that I have known - despite some pretty amAzing facades ranging from cool-calm-collected to hot-tempered-and-insensitive - are emotional live wires. All of them believed that they couldn't have sex unless they were in love and could never cheat on their partner. All of them were so exquisitely emotionally sensitive that they read into everything I did or said - volumes and most of it - I wasn't even aware of. And all of them couldn't stand causing anyone emotional pain - because it really did "Hurt them as much as it hurts you".

I have NEVER understood how I became involved with these women. As an earth sign venus and mars - I'm much more 'earthy' in my approach to love and never really understood the emotional high wire that all relations were for them.

I read somewhere that water sign mars/venus behave emotionally very much like their element: water. Venus in Pisces in particular seemed to be overflowing with emotion - and that emotion was looking for someplace to go. In a way - I think I gave form to their emotions - a vessel with which to hold them. Ultimately, that is why we stayed together.

With one person - the relationship didn't last very long - and I think it may have been because she was expecting me to be much more emotionally attuned to her than I was capable of being at the time.

With your fellow - Mars in Capricorn doesn't really get carried away. In a sense - especially for a guy - it's a very 'traditional roles' placement. He may be able to ground himself, emotionally. In which case, I think the downside of Venus in Pisces can come out - which is an addiction to romance, moonlight and roses - and a disinclination towards anything that will wake them from their romantic dream.

But in all synastry analysis - there are always two people first and then the two people together. Where are your V/M?

[molly]

I thought it was interesting how you end relationships, Pinky. I noticed that with my dad and sister too.. when they are ready to end a relationship, they "drift away" rather than end it straightforwardly like a fire sign might, or verbally like an air sign might. The fish jumping back into the sea is a good image.

M

[Cappie]

My mars is in Pisces, and my venus is in Capricorn, so he and I have a mutual mars conjunct venus, which is strong attraction. He has been aggressive in displaying his sexual interest in me, and I feel that when he's approaching me w/ sexual desire that his Cap. Mars is or should be appealing to my Cap. Venus. But my Cap. Venus side needs stability and security and right now- that would be in the form of knowing that he's seriously interested in a relationship. So, I have not been fully responsive to this Cap. Mars-Venus connection.

And I don't know how things will ever get anywhere w/ my the Pisces Mars-Venus connection... We'll just be swimming around aimlessly for eternity?? My NN and midheaven are in Pisces, so I know that these piscean qualities must be developed in me...

Am I analyzing this right, and should I even be appealing to his Pisces Venus to move this relationship forward, or should I be submitting to the Mars Cap. approach he's been attempting w/ me?

[molly]

...this is not an advice forum... review the rules if you want to know why.. you're really not supposed to ask for advice, but I'll let it stand this time.. but if you have advice to offer, please do so by the u2u private messenger.

thanks & blessings,
Molly

[mzing12]

The reason Venus in Pisces is the follower in relationships is because deep down, they really don't care because there's drive towards the "bigger picture", whatever that happens to be. Of course it all depends on the chart - if there's a lot of Scorpio or Libra/7th house, they'll still have relationship drives, etc.

Strong placements in Pisces tend to make people not particularly at home in the drama of daily life. There are plenty of Pisceans capable of loving, long-term relationships, but in a lot of them, their hearts will never be with another person - it'll be with the universe, art, imagination, the very concept of unknown emotions that make up life.

That sounds crazy to most people, I'm sure, which is a part of the classic Pisces isolation from society.

Anyway, I've got Venus cnj Mars in Pisces, MC in Pisces, and Moon in Pisces cnj MC, and while I've had relationships both serious and casual, there just isn't enough in them for me to bother pursuing them too heavily.

Which is, of course, why Pisces matches so well with Capricorn, and why it seems like Pisces needs initiation for the relationship to happen. All of my serious relationships and friendships have only been with Venus in Capricorn people, strangely enough. As far as the trine with Scorpio goes, that's wayy too intense and unstable - Capricorn is like the steady push that gets Pisces to flow without overflowing.

[Paula]

mzing12 that's very interesting info.

We have two people in our home right now that have alot of Pisces. My father was a Pisces Sun. I've always had a difficult time understanding that distance and isolation, although at times I am at ease with it (having a Capricorn Asc).

I keep thinking "fluid" in relation to anything Pisces, as their way to cope or determine how they are going to face the challenge of the day.

I wonder how many Pisceans are painters?

[astroflute]

For what it is worth: My mother had VenusMarsMoon all in Pisces and she was an amazing artist (painter)...

[Cappie]

That was very helpful insight... (I'm posting under both CapGirl and Cappie, by the way.) I cannot believe the amount of Pisces you have in your chart! I thought this guy was so "take action" when I first met him bc. he called alot and pursued in the beginning but yet he was approaching it from a "friends" or "friends first" outlook. I think that when we started getting romantically involved, his Pisces venus took over... or maybe I'm just dealing with a commitment-phobe!

I'm trying to hang in there and be flexible, as I know I am to be working on developing those Piscean qualities (with my pisces NN). And I do get tired of all my Capricorn tendencies...

I know that are chart overlays form a Yod pointing to my NN or MC (Pisces).

[nove731]

I'm a guy with Venus in Pisces...My Descendant is there also.

My Venus seems to be in a whole other world. I can't relate to the placement at all, but after I started studying astrology, I noticed a few things about my Venus placements. Only the people I'm most emotionally involved with see that side of me, but otherwise, it's hidden.

I'm pretty commitment phobic, and I'm more of a follower, even though I have an Aries sun. Maybe that's more because of my Virgo rising, though. I'm not really sure.

I'm very fickle, and I can never make up my mind about what I want in someone. I oscillate between being so involved with the person, that I can't tell who is who anymore, to the point where I feel hatred for the person, and back again.

It's really hard to show an emotional attatchment to one person. But maybe that's my Sagittarius moon. I don't rightly know. I find it hard to express an emotion toward one person. It has to be to a group, or I just feel too uncomfortable expressing it.

Lol. My Mars is in Aquarius, though, not Capricorn. Hope it helps? Lmao.

[mzing12]

Get to know him more, who knows what's really up. It could be just the usual fear-of-intimacy most people have after their first serious relationship and break-up, depending on age. We all get over it, though.

I usually avoid involvement with people who don't show serious interest, and the reason behind that is that there are so many other things going on, and yes, the emotions can be too intense to just get involved with people who aren't serious and steady. I'm saying that as an Aquarius Sun.

[KadynaStar]

I've been wondering what I can add to this thread... One of my loves was a Pisces Sun, with Pisces Venus and Node too, and has the Moon-Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius which the first poster talked about... LOL but I'm no closer to figuring him out than Cappie is with hers! :?:

What I do know about him though is that he's very sensitive... he feels and picks up on things around him to a heightened degree. He's strongly talented in art and music. His feelings are deep but they confuse him: the world is constantly telling him the "way things should be" and he doesn't understand why his feelings don't fit into everyone else's idea of normal. He seems to go back and forth between his Pisces planets and his Fire planets (Mars is also in Aries). He wants to be seen as strong and tough, though only his closest friends know how he cries in secret. He wants his freedom but he also needs someone who can make him feel safe without making him feel weak. Someone who can understand him and accept him as he is. He's very loyal in his own way, but won't hesitate to cut someone out of his life if he feels he's been betrayed. There's just something about him that makes you want to cry and grab him in a big hug. LOL Such an interesting blend of sensitivity and strength....

[Cappie]

KaydnaStar.... I have sensed similar things in this guy of mine. It has taken me a long time to realize that he does take alot of time to think things through and is not intentionally ignoring me to play games. At first when I met him, he covered up his sensitivity by joking around ALOT and being the comic but now that I've known him longer, he will be more serious yet quiet. He also has that need to appear tough and in control. I guess I know his chart too well and assumed he'd always behave confidently and aggressively, and this shy, reclusive vulnerability has taken me by surprise but it certainly adds a whole new dimension.

Will a Piscean lover eventually tell you that they can't give you want you're looking for, or will he just swim away quietly? But his pattern has always been to resurface eventually, yet still never volunteering to discuss his feelings or the relationship.

[pinky_shushu]

mzing12, that's an interesting observation re: pisces/capricorn. As I mentioned above, I have my chart ruler, Venus in Pisces (as well as Jupiter actually), and my partner has Venus in Capricorn conjunct his Ascendant. It doesn't sextile my Venus synastrically (although it does my Jupiter).

And although I can't draw *at all*, I love painting abstract - watercolours actually. And often am inspired by people close to me and end up giving most of them away to friends/family.

Pinky

[KadynaStar]

Quote:Originally posted by Cappie
KaydnaStar.... I have sensed similar things in this guy of mine. It has taken me a long time to realize that he does take alot of time to think things through and is not intentionally ignoring me to play games. At first when I met him, he covered up his sensitivity by joking around ALOT and being the comic but now that I've known him longer, he will be more serious yet quiet. He also has that need to appear tough and in control. I guess I know his chart too well and assumed he'd always behave confidently and aggressively, and this shy, reclusive vulnerability has taken me by surprise but it certainly adds a whole new dimension.

Will a Piscean lover eventually tell you that they can't give you want you're looking for, or will he just swim away quietly? But his pattern has always been to resurface eventually, yet still never volunteering to discuss his feelings or the relationship.

See that's the funny thing... he WILL tell you that he can't give you what you're looking for... but he'll keep coming around! LOL

As for playing the comic... does yours happen to have Leo Rising too? LOL

As for me, it's not romantic with him anymore... but he's still my best friend in this world...

[kemist]

Well Well Well....

I am a Taurus Man with a Venus in Pisces! and commitment does scare me! But not why you might think... Don't jump to conclusions and think just because he is allusive he is seeing someone else... I am in a similar relationship right now where I am seeing a Gemini and Both of us are somewhat allusive in that capacity... We've agreed to have that non commital relationship for about 3 months, and within that time I have been completely monogomous...

I want to feel like I am spending time with a person out of choice, not a forced boundry... Being pinned down will kill the magic! I haven't always seen things this way ... I have just been in quite a few obligatory long term relationships where I should have walked away but stayed out of guilt, commitment and co-dependance... And after I broke the pattern I became extremely aware of how many others do such a thing! Now ask yourself is that REALLY what LOVE is? If you have seen "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" with Jim Carey and Kate Winslet, I am reffering to the "Dining of the Dead" scene... Where Jim Carey is talking about how you see all these couples dining out, looking completely miserable... One of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies!

I think allot of people could learn from the Sagitarrion or Aquarioan (forgive my spelling) version of love in this department... Commitment does not = Love... It seems allot of people might be able to learn allot from a book called "Love Freedom and Aloneness" by the Sagitarious Guru, Osho...

I think also a piscean venus has a tendancy (as others have admitted) to melt into the other person and lose their self idenity... thus they may put up some walls to ensure that things move slow... And they are consciencely aware of themselves in the relationship...

If your friend has "lost" himself a few times with other people only to be crushed by dissapointment, that is a devistation that is hard to bounce back from... You no longer remember who you are as an induvidual, and after a while of that happening you realize you need to hold on to your induviduallity in whatever way you know how... Sometimes that requires keeping distance, and freedom of movement...

Just because it smells fishy doesnt mean it is!

Here is an idea... Instead of postulating and worrying if he is seeing other people... Why don't you just ask him how he feels about the idea... then that will open up conversation in that department... and you can get his true feelings...

If you still aren't satisfied and think he is lying... Well then maybe you have trust issues you need to work on... Because if you can't take peoples words for there value then you probably shouldn't be involved with him, or anyone else you cant beleive...

A relationship without trust, is no relationship worth having.

[abbie100]

DO NOT BY ANY MEANS GO BACK, THESE MEN ARE LIARS CHEATS AND NOT WORTH THE BREATH ULL SPEND ON THEM TRYING TO GET THEM TO ACT LIKE A MAN INSTEAD OF A GIRL.


They ALWAYS cheat are boring and moody. There like a seriously derpived women with PMS permanently. The most agonising and lonely 6 months of my life with this fraud. He even said that he made out he was into what i was, because thats what u do when dating.. they are no god for relationships, not even a stop gap. if you want to feel lonley used and unsatisfied sexually and mentally then a [pisces man is for you. if you want real love. avoid these creatures at all cost.

SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR MOVE ON AND GET A REAL MAN, THESE FOOLS DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP. tHEY ARE NOT ROMANTIC UNLESS THEY AFTER SOMETHING TOO

[Keishin]

Really.

I've known quite a few Pisces Men (Sun and Moon). Moody yes, but also emotionally sensitive to stuff that totally goes over my head.
No good at all? That's a bit much don't you think for your first post?

Keishin
Moderator, Node-o-Rama